TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH....

10. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled; I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find teaching others about Christ much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I’ve decided to contribute the $500 a month I used to spend on my hobbies.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Bible class.

5. Forget the minimum salary; let’s pay our preacher so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!

3. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.

2. Preacher, we’d like to send you to this Lectureship in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like a good old-fashioned sermon on giving!
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(author unknown)

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