[Note: An Examination Of Another Doctrine Concerning Divorce And Remarriage]
Premise: First Time Sex Is The Marriage Ceremony
"The One Flesh Doctrine"
Another false doctrine that must be discussed is the idea that sex is the binding tie that makes two people one flesh. There are some who are teaching the following facts.
This false doctrine is based upon some literal intrepretations of a few passages not necessarily dealing with marriage. This false doctrine also has to assume and add to scriptures in order for this to work. The explanation is very simple. I will try to explain the doctrine in as few words as possible and still be complete in representing the false doctrine.
1. In Genesis 2:24 we read---For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. This is explained by Jesus in Matt. 19:5-6 and also Mark 10:8. This quote is also used by Paul in Eph. 5:31. Notice the Matthew statement. Matthew 19:5-6 5 and said, 'For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh'?6 "Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." Now we go to Paul's statement in 1 Corinthians 6:16--Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, "The two will become one flesh." Thus the doctrine is complete that says sex makes you of one flesh and this one flesh joins the two by God and therefore only death will allow the other to be rightfully married to a different party.
Problems With This Doctrine
1. This doctrine teaches that fornication makes the two married. Even if this fornication was in the commission of a crime of rape. These teachers teach that a woman must wait for the criminal who committed this crime to die in order for her to be released (by God) from the one flesh marriage.
1a. What if this was a case of incest. If a child was molested by a family member---Would God have joined this relationship and prohibit man from putting asunder?
2. This doctrine teaches that any sex with anyone automatically removes a right to be married to anyone other than the party to which the first sex act took place.
3. This doctrine ignores the words of Jesus when Jesus placed an exception clause in the case of divorce because of fornication of the guilty party.
4. This doctrine binds celibacy upon individuals that the Bible does not bind upon. Even the apostles and prophets and the Holy Spirit did not teach this doctrine.
5. This doctrine interprets sex as becoming one flesh, which is marriage in the sight of God. Outside of the inference that can be deduced from these two statements, there is absolutley no scriptural support for this doctrine.
The Formula For Marriage
Adam had relations with his wife and she conceived. Cain knew his wife, and the scriptures are filled with a number of people who knew each other (in the biblical sense). Not every culture and society recognizes this arrangement.
Today, a man becoming one flesh with a prostitute is not married to her by any law.
Two people in a moment of passion are not recognized as married.
The laws of our land do not recognize same-sex marriages, even if some do.
In our society, it is generally accepted that a marriage ceremony with the exchanging of vows before God and man is what makes a marriage.
Some marriages recorded in the scriptures mention that people are married before they have had sex. Abraham's servant, found Rebekah and brought her to Isaac. Isaac took her into his mother's tent and she became his wife Gen 24:1-67. Joseph wanted to privately send Mary away, but the angel told him that Mary had not been unfaithful. Some people bought their spouses and some of them tricked others into these relationships. Some marriages were for political gain and prosperity and riches.
For some reason that I cannot and will not attempt to explain, some men had more than one wife, and bore children by several members of their households. Note--there are no examples of this in the New Testament. In the New Testament, an unlawful marriage was identified as such. Jesus Himself declared God's marriage law from the beginning. Why multiple marriages were allowed to take place, I do not know, and I do not think that there is a person alive who knows for sure why this took place (although many have tried, and many have appealed to this for justification for MDR today).
Getting back to the formula-----in our culture and society.
To make a claim that sex binds the marriage is adding to scripture and actually going beyond scripture. We see that some want to go from one extreme to the other. We must let the Bible speak on this matter without our adding to or removing from it.
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