• Building, Maintaining, And Nurturing Good Relationships
• Attitudes that Affect Others For Good

• Introduction
• We recently had a list of attitudes that affect people in a negative way.
• Such attitudes cut off any opportunity to teach others about the qualities of being a Christian, and being an example of Jesus Christ.
• Today week we want to begin to notice a handful of attitudes that will enhance our relationship with others.
• These attitudes are descriptive of the Christian’s disposition in general, but in this lesson, we want to notice how they can help us lead to opportunities for good.
• Let us notice some good attitudes.

• Love & caring –
• These attitudes are put together because Christian love is about caring.
• We regularly emphasize our need to love others.
• Whether we are addressing our love for our brethren – (John 13:34-35, 1 Peter 1:22);
• or for others – (Matthew 22:39, James 2:8 – love one another, etc.).
• This love is more than a feeling one has.
• It is an ATTITUDE that acts on behalf of others (hence the definition of agape love - caring enough to sacrifice for what is best).
• This love is best demonstrated by Jesus who gave Himself for us on the cross – John 15:13, 1 John 3:16, Ephesians 5:2.
• It is seen in the concern of Paul for brethren everywhere.
• Having a genuine love and concern for others can open doors of opportunity to teach and influence.
• It can cause you to look for opportunities to share the gospel and act like a Christian.
• It can cause you to sacrifice because you do care.
• It can keep you FROM doing or saying things that might cause irreparable damage.
• People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

• Compassion, mercy –
• Compassion – sympathetic pity and concern for others who are suffering or facing misfortunes.
• As Christians, we need to have a compassionate attitude.
• There is no better example of compassion than Jesus Himself. Matthew 9:36, 14:14 – He was moved with compassion.
• He demonstrated it on so many occasions – whether it was healing the needy (Luke 7:13), tending to physical needs of others or even in His teaching (Luke 10:33 – the good Samaritan, Luke 15:20 – the father of the prodigal), including His pity for sinners (Matthew 9:36-38 – he called for His disciples to pray the Lord of harvest send forth laborers, etc.)
• He was accused of associating with sinners often (Luke 15:1-2, 19:7, Matt. 9:10-11, 11:19) probably because He didn’t avoid the “undesirables” of society, but was compassionate.
• As Christians we need to be compassionate – 1 Peter 3:8 – be of one mind, having compassion for one another…
• How do feel about the needy around us – the homeless, those with broken lives and hearts, etc?
• And not just brethren, but those of the world!
• James 1:27 states that pure and undefiled religion is to help the needy.
• James 2:14-17 tells us this is one way we demonstrate our faith.
• Jude 22 calls for us to have compassion in trying to teach others.
• Romans 12:8, speaking of whatever abilities we have, calls for us to show mercy with cheerfulness.
• When we care about others we will become compassionate to their needs.
• Spiritually, when we see the plight of the lost, it ought to bother us.
• When we see brethren or others suffering or struggling, we ought to desire to help them in whatever way we can.
• When we see those outside the church dealing with things, we have the ability to help them.
• We can do much good.

• Kindness –
• Speaks of one who has a gentle, warm-hearted and considerate disposition toward others.
• He or she treats others in a respectful and pleasant way.
• He is NOT hateful or cruel.
• One of the ways God is described toward us is through kindness – Titus 2:4
• On Malta, after a shipwreck, the natives showed “unusual kindness” to Paul and the others (Acts 28:2)
• We need to be kind –
Proverbs 19:22, “What is desired in a man is kindness, And a poor man is better than a liar. “
1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us that love suffers long and is kind.
• It is a fruit of the Spirit – Galatians 5:22-23
• Ephesians 4:32 calls for us to be kind to one another – it solves many problems.
• Kindness is a universal language.
• When we treat others with kindness it can open doors.
• It can also make or change someone’s day for the better.
• It makes you desirable to be around.

• Joyful –
• Joyful is a word associated with happiness or gladness.
• It does not always mean that everything is without trouble, but you have an upbeat attitude and find good and hope in the situation.
• It is a quality of the kingdom of heaven - Romans 14:17 (with righteousness and peace)
• After conversions there was great joy – Acts 8:8 (Samaria), Acts 13:52 – Antioch, Acts 15:3 as Paul and Barnabas spoke of how Gentiles had been converted there was great joy, etc.
• Even after troubling times we read of joyful attitudes –
• Acts 16:25 – Paul and Silas in prison in Philippi singing and praying to God.
• Acts 5:41 – after the apostles had been arrested, beaten and threatened by the Council, they departed, “rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name.”
• 2 Corinthians 6:5 Paul notes that while at times he was sorrowful, yet he was always rejoicing.
• Many passages call for us to be joyful -
• Galatians 5:22 – a fruit of the Spirit
• Philippians 1:4 – with joy Paul prayed for the brethren
• Philippians 4:4 – Rejoice in the Lord always…
• Romans 12:15, concerning our brethren we rejoice with them
• One who is joyful is not going to be complaining about everything.
• He or she is always happy and pleasant to be around.
• Others can be positively influenced as they see you deal with problems while maintaining a joyful attitude.
• They might even be encouraged to have that same attitude (cf. Philippians 1:12-14 – Paul’s demeanor being imprisoned caused others to be confident and bold).
• A sour attitude would be of no help to others.

• Meekness, humility –
• One who shows a mild and gentle nature.
• He is not seeking confrontation.
• He is not easily provoked or irritated.
• He is one not seeking to always assert his will and interests ahead of others.
• In the Bible, it is related to one who is humble.
• It is a quality present in one who is loving, caring, compassionate, kind and joyful.
• NOTE: while the word is somewhat misunderstood in our English language, it does not imply weakness or cowardice.
• Instead, it is as one defined it, “strength under control”.
• Moses was known for his meekness –
• Numbers 12:3 tells us he was very humble.
• Jesus described Himself as meek (gentle) and lowly of heart – Matthew 11:29, 2 Corinthians 10:1
• Titus 3:1-2 – gentle, showing all humility to all men.
• Galatians 5:23- it too is a fruit of the Spirit.
• 1 Peter 3:15 – in defending our hope and giving an answer, we do so with meekness and fear.
• Matthew 5:5, Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”
• A statement that means those of mild disposition can win over the world (or your neighbor) – as opposed to one who is quick-tempered and easily provoked.
• With meekness (gentleness ) we go to a brother overtaken in trespass (Galatians 6:1)
• Even addressing those in error we are to show gentleness and humility – 2 Timothy 2:24-26
• Just as pride and arrogance can turn people off, a gentle and humble attitude can put others at ease and even cause them to want to be around you.
• In fact, many of the verses just mentioned demonstrate how meekness is related to our interaction with others.
• In a world where aggressiveness and egotism seems to be the flavor of the day, one with a meek disposition can be refreshing.

• Patience and longsuffering –
• Patience means to remain calm and controlled while you are waiting.
• Longsuffering is patience even in the face of troubles.
• It means to bear long with others.
• Longsuffering is an attribute of God – 2 Peter 3:9, 15 – honestly, it is the reason we are still here in spite of the ungodliness around us.
• It is the reason we have hope.
• Paul demonstrated long-suffering in his life.
• He endured many things, yet he never gave up (i.e. 2 Corinthians 11:23-30, 2 Timothy 3:10)
• Another fruit of the Spirit – Galatians 5:22-23, and a “Christian grace” – 2 Peter 1:5-7.
1 Corinthians 13:4 – love suffers long
Colossians 1:11, 3:12 both describe this attitude.
2 Timothy 4:2 – as preachers preach, we must display longsuffering.
• Another longed for quality.
• This is an attitude that definitely affects others as we remain in control in our dealings with them and with life.
• It can keep us from reaching rash conclusions (without all the facts).
• It can keep us from losing our temper.
• It can keep churches intact and brethren at peace.
• Think of the example we set when we maintain patience in doing something or when others treat us badly.
• Think of the problems with others we prevent because we don’t respond in haste. (James 1:19)

• Good Attitudes
• In Matthew 5:16 we are told to let our lights so shine that through our works God will be glorified.
• That begins with our attitudes.
• Virtually every attitude we have affects others in one way or another.
• In this lesson we have noticed a few attitudes that will positively affect others.
• (Later, we want to examine a few more.)

• Conclusion
• Did you notice that all of these characteristics that we are supposed to build and nurture in our lives are also characteristics of Deity?
• Our goal in this is to call for an examination of how we are maturing in Him.
• A good indicator of genuine spiritual growth is when we develop these godly attitudes and when we overcome the ungodly ones.
• Where do you stand in God’s eyes?

By Carey Scott from an outline by Tommy Thornhill Jr

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