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• Building, Maintaining, And Nurturing Good Relationships
• A lesson on how NOT to treat others.
• (Part One)

INTRODUCTION
• Philippians 2:3-4 is a text we need to consider.
• Last week, introducing the subject, we noted several aspects of being a Christian that involves others.
• Today, we want to focus more on one of those aspects – how our attitudes affect others.
• We must remember that attitude is determined by our behavior.
• The truth is that behind everything we do there are attitudes.
• That is why we need to get the attitude right.
• When the attitude is right, other matters (including our behavior) will more easily fall into place.

• Selfishness
• Our text, Philippians 2:3-4 – calls for us to not be selfish!
• One that is selfish thinks only of himself/herself.
• He hoards what he has and never shares.
• His world revolves around himself, and those who don’t share such feelings are not worth keeping around.
• An example of selfishness would be the brother of the prodigal son – Luke 15:25-32
• Galatians 5:20 – selfish ambitions is actually a work of the flesh.
• 1 Corinthians 13:5 speaks of love not seeking its own.
• Such an attitude will cause them to neglect their responsibilities to others.
• Often they will view others with a negative attitude.
• Depending upon how selfish one is, they might actually engage in conduct that is unbefitting the Lord’s body.

Pride and arrogance
• A product of selfishness, pride is an attitude where one thinks more highly of himself than he ought to think, conceit.
• Arrogance is an attitude of superiority demonstrated in an overbearing manner.
• These are unhealthy attitudes for the one who possess them.
• They will blind one to what he really needs and cause jaded attitudes towards others.
• Examples of arrogance and pride include – Naaman (2 Kings 5:11-13) when told to dip in the Jordan to be healed of his leprosy;
• Haman in the book of Esther who thought he was greater than others;
• Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon whose heart lifted him up,
• And the Pharisee who went into the temple to pray (Luke 18:11).
• Proverbs 8:13, “The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way And the perverse mouth I hate.”
• Prov. 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
• The Christian must avoid these attitudes as they are opposite the attitude we ought to have.
• 1 Corinthians 13:4 - love does not parade itself and is not puffed up.
• Romans 12:3 we are not to think more highly of ourselves.
• Philippians 2:3 – speaks of “lowliness of mind.”
• Arrogance and pride can cause you to talk down to others and thereby defeat opportunities to teach them properly.
• It is also an attitude that is unattractive and can actually damage the disposition of others as well.
• NOTE: How often do we see arrogance in others and are unimpressed with it, yet we cannot see it in ourselves?

• Bitterness
• The word is associated with taste and has reference to something that has a harsh or disagreeable flavor.
• Based on this, we are speaking of an attitude that is sharp, harsh and antagonistic.
• Bitterness, if not checked, can cause irreparable damage.
• It has led to murders, including the first with Cain – Genesis 4:5-8.
• In some way, Simon the magician had been poisoned by bitterness, perhaps being resentful of the abilities of the apostles. (Act 8:23).
• Jonah, was bitter toward Nineveh and when God relented he was bitter at His decision.
• Ephesians 4:31 calls for us to put away bitterness and wrath as well as other things.
• James 3:14 warns that if we have bitter envy and self-seeking, it is a demonic attitude.
• Usually, bitterness is directed toward others and causes one to act hatefully toward them.
• It can also cause one to look upon others with jaded views – blaming others for what is wrong and at times take it out on the innocent (i.e. one who is bitter at work and takes it out on his family, etc.).
• EVEN if the disposition is internalized, your demeanor affects others and can cause you to be undesirable to be around.
• Even the proverbs warns against associating with an angry man (Prov. 22:24, “Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go,”
• HOW can we be an influence to others if we have a sour disposition?

Envy and jealousy
• Envy is a feeling of discontent or covetousness toward the advantages and successes of others.
• Biblically the word means to begrudge or be resentful of another.
• Jealousy is similar, though not always as intense.
• There are many examples of envy in the Bible –
• Sarah against Hagar,
• Rachel and Leah,
• Joseph’s brothers (and that’s just in Genesis).
• King Saul was envious of David when the people followed him (1 Samuel 18-19)
• Also consider Matthew 27:18 where Pilate knows that it was because of envy that the Jews had handed Jesus over to be executed.
• It is described as a work of the flesh – Galatians 5:21
• James 3:14-16 tells us that if we have envy – it comes from the place where every evil thing is.
• We are to put away bitter envy – 1 Peter 2:1
• Romans 13:13 tells us to walk properly, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy.
• Envy, like bitterness can cause great damage to relationships and carries the same effects.
• It can cause you to turn against another.
• It is an attitude that will consume you and affect others negatively.

• CONCLUSION (part one)
• The result of such attitudes - It can also cause others to avoid you, or be uncomfortable around you.
• Perhaps a good way to describe what the attitude of a Christian OUGHT to be is that they put people at ease around them.
• NOTE: I realize that life is sometimes difficult and filled with disappointments.
• At times they can be severe.
• It is hard to maintain a good attitude all the time, especially in these evil times.
• BUT, regardless, we must learn to control our attitudes and realize that we CAN!
• But will we?

By Carey Scott from a series by Tommy Thornhill Jr

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