An Open Letter
from Nadab and Abihu
Brethren,
It is with the utmost humility that we inform you of a change of worship practices
in your normal sacrificing. Be assured that we are bringing about this change
only after much prayer and study. We have recently concluded an in-depth study
of the Law as delivered by our brother Moses that covered 400 days. (We might
note that is ten times the length of time it took the Lord to impart this Law).
We have decided to bring about a change in the type of fire used in worship. We
are aware that there is a standing tradition of using only one source of fire,
but we, as holy priests, do not feel obligated to blindly follow tradition. Numerous
polls of our worshipping clientele indicate the overwhelming opinion that they
do not care where we get the fire used for their sacrifices as long as the service
is conducted in a respectful and meaningful way. We are in agreement with this
growing majority, as we cannot see how a change in fire will affect anything in
the least about our sacrifices. The animal is still properly cooked, the incense
burned. We are of the mind that were we to secretly substitute a different fire
it would be impossible for any of the worshippers to know a change had taken place.
Besides all this, we became aware of the fact that nowhere in the Law does the
Lord forbid the use of what some of our detractors have referred to as "strange
fire." We feel that the lack of such a restriction was meant to give us freedom.
For those who disagree, we would ask you to show us any place in the Law that
tells us we cannot do something the Lord has not seen fit to condemn. We are simply
asking, "Where does it say we cannot do this?" We also wish to point
out that the congregation of Israel is the only religious group in the known world
that willingly limits itself to only one kind of fire. We have become the laughingstock
of the land of Canaan and have been ridiculed openly by many groups. This "only-one-fire"
self-righteous po licy has alienated us from everyone else. We believe this change
will open up many fellowship opportunities.
Now, to set the minds of some of you at ease, we will continue to offer a traditional
service using the old-fashioned fire as well as this progressive service with
the new fire. As a matter of fact, we may occasionally use the old fire in our
progressive service for special feast days. In this way we hope that our older
citizens are still comfortable even though they dogmatically insist on a worship
style which is declining and we believe to be stunting our growth. Consider the
freedom this new practice affords us! We will no longer have the expense of maintaining
a constant fire in one location. This will also make it possible to appeal to
a younger audience as we discover more entertaining ways to "light the fire"
of our assemblies. (We hope you caught the little play on words there!)
For those who still oppose the use of new fire , we ask you not to be judgmental
of new ideas. We also hope you will not use this change as an excuse to divide
our people or stir up trouble within the congregation. We remind you that this
has been well thought out and the majority of elders have signed on with us. It
is true, we have not included our father Aaron in this deliberation; but we were
well aware of his tradition-bound views and still plan to leave him in charge
of doing the traditional service anyway. We also have not consulted Moses, but
his humility is well known and we are confident he will want to uphold the majority
decision in this effort to improve our worship.
We are very much looking forward to our first new fire service. We hope you will
make a special effort to be present to witness a new age of enlightenment in the
church of Israel. We know God will be watching and we anticipate that His joy
over seeing his people take a great step toward throwing off the burden of binding
tradition w ill be an electrifying experience. See you there. Bring some extra
barbecue sauce, for we think this new practice is going to spread like wildfire!
For freedom's sake!
Nadab & Abihu, DDLP
(Doctors of Divine Law and Progress)
P.S. After the successful changeover in this part of our worship, future plans
include the ordination of women priests, inter-idol fellowship activities with
the various pagan groups nearby, and a special service called, "It doesn't
have to be Passover to celebrate Passover anymore." (Anonymous)
[Note… As some of
you know this proposal turned out to be disastrous. It would appear to have
been “a salvation issue!”]
Leviticus 10:1-3 Now Nadab
and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took their respective firepans, and after putting
fire in them, placed incense on it and offered strange fire before the LORD,
which He had not commanded them. 2 And fire came out from the presence of the
LORD and consumed them, and they died before the LORD. 3 Then Moses said to
Aaron, "It is what the LORD spoke, saying, 'By those who come near Me I
will be treated as holy, And before * all the people I will be honored.' "
So Aaron, therefore, kept silent.
Anonymous Author
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