The Church Husbandry Society

“Letter from the Pastors of the Acme church of Christ:

Brethren, there is an obvious problem in the church. This problem exists because all the individuals that make up the church are not being who they are supposed to be (Christians), and doing what they are supposed to be doing (Christian’s duty). Therefore, it is the determination of the pastor(s), to form a society (organization) to serve this need. Just as we have formed Missionary Societies to evangelize, Educational Societies to teach children, and Benevolent societies assist those in need, we are forming this society to help wives.

The problem is that too many husbands are not being husbands. They are not listening to their wives as they should, they are not supporting their wives as they should, and many are not respecting their wives as they should. In other words, most wives are essentially neglected by their husbands. Since husbands are not doing their job, we as a church are going to solve the problem. The church is forming a “Husbandry Society” to deal with all the neglected wives within the church.

This is how everything will work. We will select a board, and that board will oversee the work of “church sponsored husbands”. In other words, wherever there is a need that a wife has, that her husband is not handling, the matter will be referred to The Church Husbandry Society. The Church Husbandry Society will then select a “husband” to “rule over” this wife, and provide for her needs.

Now, of course, the church does not want to overstep its bounds so, the “church sponsored husband” will only be able to step in and take action when the following responsibilities from scripture are being neglected by the wife’s actual husband.

1. Demonstrating caring love – Ephesians 5:24 – Many men are simply not loving their wives like they should. Christ points out, that He is the standard, willing to give His own life for the church. Many husbands however, aren’t even willing to give their wives the time of day. The Church Husbandry Society can assign you a church sponsored husband to talk on the phone with, text, email and visit so that he can daily reassure you of his love.

2. Provision for the family – I Timothy 5:8 – Many husbands have low paying jobs, or some may even be unemployed due to economic, or other, conditions. The Church Husbandry Society can assign you a church sponsored husband to help pay the bills and maybe even take you on that vacation you’ve been dying for.

3. Training of children – Ephesians 6:4 – Husbands have this role in the household to oversee the spiritual training of their children. Many husbands however, are not even spiritually trained themselves, and are therefore unequipped to fulfill this task as good as they should. The Church Husbandry Society can assign you a church sponsored husband to come to your home daily and teach your kids about God and His scriptures, and to take the family to church as well.

4. Leadership in the home – Ephesians 5:23 – In our modern society, many boys have grown up not knowing how to (or maybe even thinking they shouldn’t be) leaders in the home. And so they delegate all the tough responsibilities and decision-making to their wives. This is not the way the Lord intended. The Church Husbandry Society can assign you a church sponsored husband to refer to in making tough family decisions.

5. Mental / Emotional Support – I Peter 3:7 – Many husbands just don’t understand their wives, and don’t care to. They are unsympathetic and do not give their wives the attention that is needed in a fulfilling relationship. The Church Husbandry Society can assign you a church sponsored husband that can demonstrate respect as a mutual child of God, and will be willing to provide mental and emotional support; especially while your husband is out golfing, hunting, or watching sports.

6. Conjugal Rights – I Cor. 7:3 – Self explanatory

Now many real husbands will likely be willing to go along with the first 5 (some may even rejoice); however, #6 might be an issue for others. But we must be reasonable. If it is the church’s job to step in and take institutional action every time and in every way individual Christians do not fulfill their responsibilities, then #6 is not only a right, but a responsibility that the church has. After all, what other solution could there possibly be?

If any men feel they are qualified to be a “church sponsored husband” please contact the elders immediately. Wives, if you would like to request the assistance of the church because your husband is not being the husband he should be, please contact us so that we can assign you a “church sponsored husband”. Thanks to everyone for your understanding, cooperation, and support of this new and exciting effort to use the church to micromanage all of mankind’s shortcomings.”

There are many problems with the above aren’t there? Where, from scripture, does the church have the right to form an organization, fund it, and oversee it; or where does the church have the right/responsibility to form an organization to replace and fulfill the responsibilities of individuals; even if the individuals are not doing what they are supposed to? If the church exceeds its authority in one area, like our example of “The Husbandry Society”, then isn’t it also exceeding its authority in every other area, like The Missionary Society or Church Sponsored Orphan’s Homes; even though they may do so with the BEST of intentions! This example of “The Husbandry Society” is absurd, and rightfully so. For ALL aspects of usurping the authority of scripture, even with the best of intentions, are equally absurd! If one is acceptable, then all are acceptable; however, if one is condemned then they are ALL condemned by the very same principle of authority.

By David Osteen via Grace Gazette August 21st, 2011 Volume 6 Article 29

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